Fall(en)ing Apart

I still dream and think that things should have been better. We would be together. There would be no heartbreaks, no setbacks, no broken eyes, no bitter fight… no breakups. But it rarely appear ‘Happily live after’ tagline so early in life. Its not a fairytale. It is the story of my friends, who were friends.

I don’t know exactly what went wrong between them, among them that they all fall apart as if it would be better if they would have never been together. But how can I forget those years (not days or weeks or months) which are still most memorable and enjoyable and complete and fulfilling time span till this day. But I feel they don’t want to look back to those memories and take a trip to those forgotten places where we used to sit together.
But yes one thing for sure we were good together. We were happy even in our adversity. We were complete even with our incompetence. We were neither studs nor smartest but whenever we walked together everyone looked on us with curious and jealous eyes……….. but now again we all are on our own. Separate from places… separate from hearts. Distances made us distant.

What made us apart is still not able to fill those gaps and still at night I (may be we) miss/wait for their call/voice (sometime). It was not an impulsive decision to accept them but it was a choice. We learned from each other. We fought with each other. We shared, we cared. We stand for each other. We cried for each other (well, not we all, but few among us :)). It is not a story of inseparable souls living together but it was the time when different souls came together to live inseparably.

One possible reason could be taking things for granted. We always pursued our dreams, we were (are) ambitious. We put our effort into it. We may/may not get what we want but did we put even part of those effort to remain attached. Thoght, it is by default. We got it, not to loose it….and today…we have lost it (most part of it), not to get it back.
Some cried, some remained silent, some acted as a mentor, some as a pillar. But we all understood and no one liked it. It happened in pairs, subgroups and groups… still happening. Bit by bit. Piece by piece. We kept loosing it. Only we could do to find some satisfactory justifications for ourselves or in the worst case we blamed. But when in lonely moments, in distant (not so distant) memories, if some tease or wish comes in unanswered eyes then you only know no justifications or blame shifting helps. They are just unsuitable temporary ways to hide or cover up your failures…(and lack of effort).

What If…(the worst and ever haunting two words).
What if they would have chosen to walk together?
What if they would have found a way to overcome their differences?
What if they would have put a little extra effort?
What if we all would be together?
What if we would have been never meet?
There could be infinite parallel events possible and we cant predict the butterfly effect of these ‘What ifs’ precisely. But one thing for sure, I wont be writing this (at 2:10AM).

What is making us part?
Can it act like a filler for those vacancies? Can it replace it? Could it replace it?
If not, are we trying to put those fallen part together? Am I playing my part?

I believe we all will be going to places in coming years. But everyone will be there separately and when we wont find our loved ones with us, there is a chance that we may not miss them. But if we miss them, we will miss them bad… very bad. (or may be we would lose our capacity to recognize its intensity by then, I don’t know which would be worse).

P.S. I still wish things should have been better and still hope whatever pieces we have left, those stay together, forever.

Conversation with a Parasite

Parasite: I need your blood. I need it for my survival.

Human: Why do you suck life out of us?

Parasite: Because we can’t live without it.

Human: But it is not yours.

Parasite: But life is mine, I have to protect it.

Human: Why don’t you use other means to survive?

Parasite: We have not given choice.

Human: Why don’t you learn?

Parasite: We can’t. you are saying this because you have been given the capability. We are not born with hands and legs. We don’t have muscle and bones which will allow us to work. You have been blessed with all the means which will make you the leader in the race. Its your responsibility to create and we will consume it. If we are not surviving then its you who has to blame. Because we have been just given a mouth. We can’t produce. We can only eat.

Human: Yes. we have been given hands, legs, muscle, bones everything. But all were useless since I born. I had legs but I could not walk. I had hands, but I could not hold and pick. I had muscle and bones but I could not work. I had mouth, which could only suck the milk from my creator.

Parasite: So it qualifies you to become like us.

Human: Why so hurry. My survival was the only goal of my creator as they believed that I will become their torch bearer. They made my hands strong so that I would be able to support them when they need. They made my legs strong so that I will never lag behind in the race. They made my shoulders strong so that I could bear my responsibilities with ease. They had given me their wisdom so that I can improve over them. They believed in my capacity and will to give back for their favor as a support mentally, physically, spiritually. It was their turn, now its mine. It is symbiosis. I have obligation towards my creator and every single living and non-living entity around who were involved in the making of me. To recognize their effort is one, to give back is second. If I am not paying back to my creators, my supporters, my society that is the only situation I will become like you, a parasite.

Parasite: Its so easy for you to say cause you have been given gifts.

Human: Yes. I have been given this. But I had put my share of effort to develop and protect it. There are efforts made to make me like what I appear today, by different people at different stages including me. If I give it to you free it will be dishonor to my creators, my supporters and to me. I won’t live my life under any guilt. I don’t choose it.

Parasite: What you would have done, if you were at my place? Commit suicide?

Human: I would have done suicide by the moment I would have considered myself incompetent to feed myself my own. Since the moment I became capable to think, I knew I will put my every part and effort to find my way. I won’t demand anything for which I can’t give anything in return. At your place I would have spent my whole life to learn, to create, to produce, to earn and to pass it to my successors. So that one day finally my coming generations would be self sufficient and a truly welcomed part in the society. I would have been exchange my service to different species to learn their skills. I would have done everything to protect my self respect, my self esteem.

Parasite: World is made up of all kind of creatures. I play my part. So what is wrong in it?

Human: You can always choose to remain in whatever conditions you are in. You can always remain in your adversity life long and will always find excellent satisfactory reason to justify yourself. But there will be only one reason to change it. Desire to grow and evolved from your current status. Evolution. This is the only word world accepts. Who manages to evolved, learned to grow, survive. Nature adopted them, otherwise they are found in history books. You are dependent on me. If I go, you won’t last. Why to choose to live such an unsure, unsecured and un-respectful life. At the place give it some good reason. Add some value to it. Give your life to make it meaningful and then I will not only give you my blood but give you my life to feed you, to protect you… This is Human.

God bless GM...

The era of procrastination, of half measures, of soothing and baffling expedients, of delays is coming to its close. In its place we are entering a period of consequences.
…Winston Churchill

It may not be said in Automotive industry context, but it completely suits today’s scenario of Auto market.

So it is now pretty evident that now GM will follow the footsteps of its younger brother Chrysler. June 1st seems to be the date when the king of Automobile will come in the court to file chapter 11 bankruptcy and will try to protect its remaining reputation in the global market.
Last quarter result seemed to be the final nail in its coffin, when GM had reported net loss of $6 billion (Loss of $9.66 per share), though it was less than expected as per Reuters, who has estimated loss of $11.05 per share. I could only manage to stop my laugh after reading those line “less than expected” even after posting $6 b loss. May be they wanted more from the former world no1. But this time honor goes to new world champion Toyota after posting quarter loss of $6.9 billion with annual loss of $8.9 billion. Now the lean company Toyota president Mr Watanabe must be feeling the heat after reporting consecutive bad report cards. OK, I am not going to comment over Toyota.

Showing consistency in negative growth GM has reported significant drop in its market share. Only hope came from GM Asia Pacific reason where in spite of overall market sell was down GM was able to post some single digit growth rate. Thanks to China and India where GM is reporting positive growth rate. Buick is trying to makeup of GM loss, which has reported around 60% growth in China. India also is trying to give it share in GM growth by giving positive result in the highly competitive and crowded small car segment with Chevy Spark. Captiva is also proving to be right choice but it deals in a highly low volume market segment in India. So, after this quarter result now GM CEO Mr Fritz Henderson is now accepting that bankruptcy is now the most feasible option. Well, I don’t see whether they have any other option.

This week only I was attending All Employee Meeting with Ron Yuile, Executive Director and CEO GMPT-AP, Where he was addressing curious GM India employee and was trying to answer the question. Not surprisingly the talk of bankruptcy was in the core of talk. Well, he has said that now GM bankruptcy is almost inevitable and we might be filling for chapter 11 on 1st June, deadline given by Obama government. What I could not understand him saying that in August GM will be out of bankruptcy and New lean mean GM will take off from there. I wish the same. But will it be possible? If you have such a futuristic vision, how could you let this situation come? I know filling for bankruptcy is your choice but at the same time coming out of it is not yours and its not so easy. You have to make tougher and quick decision then and after seeing the past report of GM decision taking capacity, it doesn’t give a bright hope. But yes, Current CEO Mr Henderson seems a bit quick and clear while taking decision. Here GM has started relying on the positive starting of Chrysler bankruptcy and hoping that Chrysler will come out of it within two months. Hence to go for a quick bankruptcy should be a good and feasible way for GM too. Sounds good. But is it for real?

Chrysler major operation stays in North America and Fiat alone was capable of taking control of the troubled automaker not to mention at a fire sell price. Even after all these now it seems tough for Chrysler to come out of chapter11 in 2 months, as per Reuters analysts it may take up to 2 years. Now here is GM, Operating almost all over world. I am not going to discuss about GM-AP and GM-LAAM operation as their financial results are not as bad if not good. But North America and Europe operations really needs a complete face lift. Where GM NA is facing the burden of seven big brands (Chevrolet, Cadillac, Buick, Pontiac, Buick, Saturn, Hummer), Europe also is in a deep mesh. Now its pretty clear that GM will be almost done with Europe market and drastically reduced in its home market too after either selling or phasing out its legendry brands. I really feel sorry about Pontiac, one of my favorite car with more than eighty years of glorious history and models (GTO, Bonneville, Sunfire,G6, Grand Prix, Grand Am, Solstice, etc)behind him.

After Saab, now its other strong unit Opel is under the hammer. Fiat, Magna and many others are waiting to grasp this golden opportunity to take control over this brand. Recently launched Opel Insignia is doing pretty well but now its late for GM to keep maker of Roadster. They have to say now bye (buy) Opel.Since last June GM is trying to sell its Hummer brand which is just proving as keeping and feeding an elephant in recent years. But even after one year GM is unable to close a good deal for its iconic brand. Now it’s clear that it may not get the desired price for this Off-road 4X4 monster. Same way Saturn is also not in the good book of GM. So here is the situation, Once after acquiring several brands to create a global common name GM, which has kept all the brands under one umbrella for almost a century now they are removing them one by one.

With four brands Chevy, Cadillac, GMC and Buick, GM will be a relatively small company but will it become a lean and profitable organization…lets see. With reduced brands and reduced market share GM will not reclaim the top spot in the Auto industry in near future. But I wish at least it mark its presence in the future, as it was my dream to work in GM after visiting Renaissance Center.

In case (most likely) GM files for bankruptcy, end of Detroit reign will almost come to an end. As only ford out of Big3 will remain out of court but again even Ford is now much smaller than its glorious days and now struggling to get rid of its quarterly report in red ink.Coming Back to GM now it’s a critical time or can say last chance to survive. Whatever mistakes you have done in your golden time will always hunt you back in your turmoil period. Its like there is no escape from mistakes. But yes, learn from it, don’t repeat it and grow over it are our only obligations. Prosperity and poverty may show two extreme faces. Its prosperity which defines your strength, guts and wisdom but its poverty which tests them.

Even after shutting down many plants and laying off thousands of employee if GM survives and emerge stronger then it would be a real life time accomplishment of Mr Fritz Henderson. I wish him luck...God bless GM.

911: Auto Sector

I just opened the list of Forbes 2000 companies of 2009 (www.forbes.com).

Actually after reading that GE is the rank1 company for the year 2009 (market value $89.87b), suddenly I got curious that what is the ranking of GM, once upon the undisputed No.1 for almost half a century. When I became tired of searching the name of GM in the list which was ranking wise I decided to search by the name wise(Actually I was hopeful that I will find the ranking in top20, Toyota is No.3). It took some effort to find the rank finally. In this economic turmoil period there are very few news which have enough potential to surprise you. But here it was. GM rank: 844
(www.forbes.com/lists/2009/18/global-09_The-Global-2000_Rank.html).

All other company you know, name it and they are far far ahead then GM. Even Eaton was under 500. I checked it again for verification, but it didn’t change. With the net market valuation of $1.37, it is just a billion dollar company now. It has already lost almost all the money in the market and showing the consistency in reporting losses quarter after quarter, year after year. Once the share value of GM which was touching $100, has seen as low as $1.27 in recent days. Who knows it is not the bottom yet.

After shaking the CEO Mr Rick Wagoner, things have hardly turned in a way which we can say better. I am surprised too by the Obama government stand on Auto sector. Putting hundreds of billions of dollars to City, AIG and like companies make sense to these guys, but providing few billions to these wounded Auto giants are taking numerous meetings and planning. After witnessing a significant part of the bailout money, which is nothing but the taxpayer share, is going in the bonus and maintaining the luxuries of so called executive, Mr Obama only showed his disappointment. House was unhappy with the Big3 top rankers by using their corporate jets and eventually they came via ground transport next time. But it was Citygroup who is buying corporate jets from the bailout money, why such discriminations? Why is such hesitation to provide the loan amount of around $30b to these guys, who was one year before the No1 Company in the world for continuous 77 years. Here is AIG getting bailout and supports even after making loss of $60b in a quarter and here is Auto guys who are still in search of supporting hands even after going through numerous meetings and deadlines for a more viable plan. It won’t be surprising if we see in coming months that just to approve the viable plan these so called intellectuals have taken so much time that company itself has vanished. Its like one is calling 911 in fire and at the place of getting immediate understanding and support, that one is being asked for the description and urgency of the situations, so that they will sit and decide whether to help and support that guy or not. If you know what is not a good viable plan then you must be knowing what it is. If so why don’t you provide the viable plan to these companies to act upon and ask their agreement on it and save some critical time.

I am not playing a critique here and won’t comment on Mr. Wagoner capability and working. But one thing for sure, whatever he had faced was the mistakes of previous management team mostly. And considering his stepping out seems more political than rational. May be Mr Obama wants to show his people that he is not only giving easy tax money to these guys but also acting tough and punishing them for their mistakes. Its not that guys at the bottom line are being axed but also guys at the top are facing the heat. If that is the case, then why not with big guys of City, why not of AIG?
Seems these wall street executives have enough influence on the government decision making capacity and process. Also, government need their support in many cases, so lets not burn hand. This only shows here that Mr. Wagoner has just been proven sacrificial lamb.

Lets not criticize this event as well, coz its critical to concentrate on critical issues. Mr Henderson, the current CEO of GM is just continuing the restructure plan which was started by the ex-CEO. He is also a bit more vocal about the possible Chapter11 bankruptcy for the company. Considering the sell of the vehicle is directly related to the sentiments of customers, filling for Chapter11 is not the most eligible candidate in this situation.
Another lifeline has been provided by government, within 60 days come up with a more viable plan to get the aid. Also, Mr. Nardelli, CEO Chrysler has been asked to finalize the deal with Fiat by the end of April to get the support from the government. Remaining brother of these two, Ford seems to be in a bit more healthy and secure condition right now and also recovering at the same time. Thanks to Mr. Mulally, who has shown some vision and acted aggressively to restructure the company. Result, now it has better ranking than GM and share price is leading too. Public is also more optimistic about Ford right now, which is showing in the vehicle sell data of recent months.

Now facing loss after more than 70years, Toyota is again towards another loss. This time estimated loss is approx $5-6b. Toyota, who got the No1 slot last year and current world’s 3rd biggest company could get this position only because GM has lost ground continuously for several years (more than $80b has been lost since 2004 by GM). Now tough time for this new No1 has come too.

In this tough and transition phase of auto sector any prediction or speculations are pretty uncertain. But what is expected and hoped from the government that Auto sector should not be treated as a step son, coz this sector itself has a potential to reform this recession phase. After all millions of people had worked day and night to create this sector and are still attached directly or indirectly to this sector and working positively in this negative atmosphere.
Let’s give them a positive hope.

Auto Run 2008

It is a transition phase for the globe not only in the field of economy or finance but at the same time in many other sectors as well. Domination of West has been challenged and replaced by the East. Collapse of North American structure has shaken the foundation of European Union as well. Even Asia Pacific and other parts of globe are not immune with this one of the worst financial situation of the century but the effect has been modulated and we didn’t see any big setbacks apart from market slow down here.

OK…I wont go in much details of these huge and complicated area of economics. Even I am not an eligible candidate to comment on it right now. Here I will focus on the Automotive Sector in this turmoil period primarily.
As mentioned this transition phase has also been seen in the world of wheels. In fact it was most obvious in this sector. 2008 didn’t come as a big surprise package for auto experts. Because whatever came from the quarter results and number, only thing was unexpected that it was worse than the expected.

Toyota has outsold GM in number game of vehicle sold in 2008. 77 years of North American domination has been ended by one of the smallest but hardest working country. As per the company released reports, GM has sold around 8.3 million vehicle in the year 2008 approx 0.6million less than Toyota. GM has seen the decline of around 11% of sales compare to last year after crude oil has risen to record high. Again it was not a surprise as observing previous few years numbers it was clear that its only a matter of time that when Toyota out thrown GM from No.1. GM still has something to breathe as it retained the crown at its home turf, which is the biggest market of automobiles in the world. But considering the performance and decline of the auto major it wont come as a surprise if it looses at its home market as well eventually.
But certainly there are some surprises stored for auto pundits. First time in history, after 70 years Toyota has registered a loss. This was not welcomed by Japanese but the Big 3 should take a lesson from this. Toyota has responded after the loss one year, whereas Big 3 are so lazy to take any aggressive step even after registering losses year after years.

Ask for more surprise?
Here comes the biggie. China was never or I will say very few times came as a surprise in a technical field especially in innovation and never heard in automotive sector.
This year NAIAS is an exception. BYD(Build Your Dreams), 2nd largest manufacturer of Li ion battery in the world came up with production version of their electric vehicle fleet which has not only surprised auto pundits but also send a clear warning message to all Auto makers including invincible Japanese and Germans.
Whatever they claim about their Electric Vehicle e6 is really like a dream wish. Lets just see what these Chinese people has done and come up with.

Specification of the Vehicle (e6)

Range: 250mile(400km)
Charging time: 1Hr
50%charge: 10min
80%charge: 15min
Seating capacity: 5 persons
Battery type: Fe
Top Speed: 160km/hr
0-100km: <8Sec
Emission: Zero.(For more or detail specification and the vehicle check www.byd.com)

Can you ask for more?
Even if it is half true, it will give volt, the most ambitious plan of GM a run for money.

Compare to Volt’s range of 40miles it has 250miles. Charging time of Volt will take 5-6 times more than what BYD claims. Also, seeing their pace and claim that vehicle will be launch within an year compare to estimated launch of Volt in 2011-2012, I don’t understand where GM stand a chance against this new innovation.

GM has always boasted its continuous investments in RnD. But for last so many years it is still waiting for such breakthrough innovations and ideas to come. Whereas, approx 20 year old companies are coming with such ideas, which will not only change the way we drive but it claims to become No.1 in coming 10-15years.
BYD is not only a threat for GM but also for Toyota and others at the same time. It may lead another transition in auto industry. From NA to Japan and now from Japan to China. ICE was lead by NA, so Hybrid was lead by Japan and now here comes China, started to claim the EV segment.

After the President Mr Obama has taken charge of White House, it would be his Herculean task to revive Auto industry of NA and reclaim the supremacy of this sector again. Already cash starved and cramp auto industry in NA will how long survive such blows, nobody knows.

After GM stepped back to acquire Chrysler, Fiat has now bought approx 30% of the stakes of this dying company. Even Fiat is not in a good health but its long awaited wish to come in NA has come true. It has got a nice platform to penetrate in NA market. Only concern remains, like Cerberus, Fiat don’t burn its hand in this deal. By mid of 2009 Fiat is expected to acquire more than 50% of Chrysler stake to take the ownership of the company. After Japanese, here comes Italian Stallion in NA. anything else GM management wish for. In flood you are getting rain. God bless GM.

As per COO of GM, it will run out of cash by 31 March after paying its due bills. Hopefully they have another slot of bridge loan pending which was promised my ex Bush administration. But this is not at all a permanent solution to revive a company. Its like feeding an starving elephant from house grocery. Whatever you do, you cant full its appetite. Just by giving the money of taxpayer to some incapable management is not a wise idea.

2008 has shown the reality of so many things. It has removed mask and shown the real picture and face of the otherwise glamorous market and industry. But it made us to think that it’s a high time to go for a reality check.

But again it’s a new year and it will be a new start. Only thing which should remain with us is hope. It’s a world of survival of the fittest. But being the fittest, needs lots of effort and practice. Lost at one front doesn’t mean end of the battle. There will be lots of challenges coming and continue to come till you say quit. But that is the best part of the market. So many came, so many will come. Ideas, companies, products, changes, setbacks, technologies, people, management…will keep coming one after another but…the show must go on.

Understanding Business

I don’t know how many times I have said it to others and more often to myself that I will do my own business. I want to build my own organization. Nothing new. So many have the same dream. So many pursue it too. But do I really understand its meaning or I just want to follow the crowd. Let me explore its true meaning just sitting alone and finding the true essence of it. After all its my business.


What is business?
Making profit…? Selling products…? Sustaining growth…? Eliminating competition…?

I am not an MBA kid. I don’t pose the bookish knowledge or definition of Business. But to start with first let me explore the basic or fundamental of it. It is not only what is business. It is why do we do business. What is the objective of doing it…pursuing it. The true nature of business…where does its spirit lie?

Is it money, which drives business? Then again, there are so many methods to own money.
Is it like, since I am not capable of doing others things, so business. Believe me no one would like this idea.
Is it buying and selling the products and creating the market for it fascinates me. That’s why I am doing business. This sounds like a complete sentence. But is it the only thing which fascinates me?


Allow me to go a bit further and deeper.
Business or trade is a basic and ancient human behavior. I believe it is one of the most noble characteristics developed within men. It has dramatically put human species miles ahead of other species. Initially before this trade or business concept human must be snatching or stealing the object from the possessor without giving anything in return. A typical animal behavior. What it would lead to? Not letting any motivation arise to generate idea or innovation or desire to produce something worthy. The kind of war between tribes or individual were the result of the same. Lack of business practice. Otherwise it would be a hand shaking process. Smooth and pleasant. Give me that, take equivalent this in return. Both happy, both satisfied.
This process of exchange made people more productive, innovative and motivated. It lead to believe individual that if they produce something worthy, they can earn their most desired luxury on return. They can exchange their product with others who has something which can be traded in return.

It made the society. It nurtured the civilization. It has organized every single thing. Actually it has chanellized the whole available energy and capabilities in a proper way. The person who was capable to produce became the leader of the society. The one who refused or unable to produce became the slave. Serve your masters and earn your salary. Again this service term is generated form the same business practice.

From here I can derive my definition of business. It’s a process of exchange or trade to get the desired object in return of what I can offer to other who find it worthy. It’s a give and take process.

Money, which is just an invention in the field of business or method for exchange, drastically made the whole process of business so flexible and versatile. It is just a byproduct of business.
It can be imagined as the center of the whole business process. All different business process is assumed at the peripheral of the circle and money is at the center. If you want to trade of two product, just come to the center from first product and move to the other product from here. It has created a well defined method and path. In a nutshell, Money is the Unified Theory for the business process and practice.

So here comes my understanding or the steps of the business.
Ø Find or develop the capability to build
Ø Arrange resources to build or create it.
Ø List your desired product or wish
Ø Get the person interested in your product.
Ø Trade it directly for your desired product or indirectly, i.e. through the money exchange process.

Here most of the time we consider the step of exchanging as a complete business, which is incomplete statement according to me. That is just a part of business, not a complete picture.
Manufacturing the product and at the last step getting the desired product, completes the circle of business.
Now again each step has and require different set of skills set and capabilities, like from idea to product, from product to market and from market to customer. Most of the time one is not capable of doing all things individually. One may be good in one part but may not carry the skill set require for the other area of business. Here again money comes as a solution for it, which allow you to buy the support require to run the complete process.

Now I believe I have a complete 360 degree view of the business process. From desiring to achieving in a manner which is beneficial for all the persons involved in the loop.
Now after reviewing all previous definitions make sense to me and all of them are falling at right places.
Ø Making money: Refers appropriate exchange value for my product which will in return get me the desired product eventually.
Ø Selling product: So that I can exchange it for my wish list.
Ø Sustaining growth: So that I can continue to get my desired product. Again note here that men desires are endless.
Ø Eliminating competitors: It looks like the dark side of the business from outside. But look deeper, it eliminates the monopoly of a single person and at the same time makes the market and create an environment, where products are finer day by day. Improve or vacant that place for a better and more eligible manufacturer or businessman. It will lead to innovation and growth for the whole human race.

Business process reflects the true capability of a human, which is more intellectually than physically. The motion in the society is the result of its practice. Without it stagnation of growth is guaranteed. It creates a parameter for a society as per its ability to create. Want to see a happy society, check its business practices.

This ancient practice has come a long way and there are lots of changes and modifications occur in this area which has made this process versatile and relevant to current culture. But the real essence is still intact….getting by giving.

Bedtime Thinking

Sometime I wonder am I really mature enough to define the path and rules of my life… am I experienced enough to predict the future (up to some extent)… have I learned enough to distinguish between good or bad… am I strong enough to face any challenge?

What comes in mind when you stay alone…?
Memories or questions… mostly.
Rarely comes the solutions.

I always challenged myself…
Many time.
Pushed the limit to test my stamina, power and courage….loved to go extra miles.
I lived, I loved, I hated, I cried, I laughed….

I am not an ambitious guy…may be don’t like seeing dreams… or can say my way of seeing dreams is different.
I prefer to see my dream in my goal than to see my goal in my dream.
Sometime I find myself getting involved in something other that I forget my own way of living….when gets a slap then only wakes up from the sleep.

Pain.
Can you see it?
It’s a feeling…it may rest in smile too or in a frustrated laugh.
But a good part of pain is…it shows your limit…define your limitations…and also awakens you from the sleep.

I loved pain (…afterwards).
I know it won’t last…. It has to be finished. But what will remain is the mark and memory…and most important its lessons. Lessons that I would like to treasure through my life. Lessons that will make my action in future more sharp and accurate.
Its fun to learn. Its my only earning in my life.

What can give you pain…? Trust on others.
What eases your pain…? Trust on yourself.
I loved others.
That fortunate person will love you for sure…but doesn’t necessarily will love you the way you love…doesn’t reciprocate your feeling the way you do…may not respond according to your choice.
Result…
heart break? Pain?
Now you start thinking and searching inside yourself…find that one is not wrong…even you are not wrong… then what went wrong?
This is a world of individuals…you tried to see their lives from your eyes…Wrong. You don’t have any right.
Suddenly you realize Expectations…from where it came?
I was not a person who expects from anyone…how did this happen?
Change?
Yes.
But why?
Did you find your previous path was wrong? If so…then again why do you want to go back to that path? May be for the one I decided to change or change happened had realized you this. I know I am wrong to decide to go back…but I can’t stay on the same path…..
I m egoist.