I still dream and think that things should have been better. We would be together. There would be no heartbreaks, no setbacks, no broken eyes, no bitter fight… no breakups. But it rarely appear ‘Happily live after’ tagline so early in life. Its not a fairytale. It is the story of my friends, who were friends.
I don’t know exactly what went wrong between them, among them that they all fall apart as if it would be better if they would have never been together. But how can I forget those years (not days or weeks or months) which are still most memorable and enjoyable and complete and fulfilling time span till this day. But I feel they don’t want to look back to those memories and take a trip to those forgotten places where we used to sit together.
But yes one thing for sure we were good together. We were happy even in our adversity. We were complete even with our incompetence. We were neither studs nor smartest but whenever we walked together everyone looked on us with curious and jealous eyes……….. but now again we all are on our own. Separate from places… separate from hearts. Distances made us distant.
What made us apart is still not able to fill those gaps and still at night I (may be we) miss/wait for their call/voice (sometime). It was not an impulsive decision to accept them but it was a choice. We learned from each other. We fought with each other. We shared, we cared. We stand for each other. We cried for each other (well, not we all, but few among us :)). It is not a story of inseparable souls living together but it was the time when different souls came together to live inseparably.
One possible reason could be taking things for granted. We always pursued our dreams, we were (are) ambitious. We put our effort into it. We may/may not get what we want but did we put even part of those effort to remain attached. Thoght, it is by default. We got it, not to loose it….and today…we have lost it (most part of it), not to get it back.
Some cried, some remained silent, some acted as a mentor, some as a pillar. But we all understood and no one liked it. It happened in pairs, subgroups and groups… still happening. Bit by bit. Piece by piece. We kept loosing it. Only we could do to find some satisfactory justifications for ourselves or in the worst case we blamed. But when in lonely moments, in distant (not so distant) memories, if some tease or wish comes in unanswered eyes then you only know no justifications or blame shifting helps. They are just unsuitable temporary ways to hide or cover up your failures…(and lack of effort).
What If…(the worst and ever haunting two words).
What if they would have chosen to walk together?
What if they would have found a way to overcome their differences?
What if they would have put a little extra effort?
What if we all would be together?
What if we would have been never meet?
There could be infinite parallel events possible and we cant predict the butterfly effect of these ‘What ifs’ precisely. But one thing for sure, I wont be writing this (at 2:10AM).
What is making us part?
Can it act like a filler for those vacancies? Can it replace it? Could it replace it?
If not, are we trying to put those fallen part together? Am I playing my part?
I believe we all will be going to places in coming years. But everyone will be there separately and when we wont find our loved ones with us, there is a chance that we may not miss them. But if we miss them, we will miss them bad… very bad. (or may be we would lose our capacity to recognize its intensity by then, I don’t know which would be worse).
P.S. I still wish things should have been better and still hope whatever pieces we have left, those stay together, forever.
5 comments:
sometimes it's better to be alone rather than spoil someone Else's life.
...true. but how can you say that your prsence gonna spoil Else's life?
I agree but as always I think it depends on the situation. Anyone can never be 100% sure of everything. Instincts guide us, maybe rite maybe wrong.
I believe , there aren't just two sides to any issue, there's almost always a range or responses, and "it depends" is almost always the right answer in any big question or decision. And not being even willing to see the other side makes for bad decisions.
Not that I'm saying that I'm always a great example myself. I get angry , negative, over obsessive, and quite frankly, I have a really hard time understanding and accepting some of the nuts I see out there ;)
I believe there is no unified theory of life. but at the same time I am not a big fan of of the words instincts, gut feeling or blink decision. these are very subjective and depends on your past tense(mostly).
At the same time I am not here to set any example or become a role model for anyone. What I wish or try to do is to live the way which make me satisfied (I dont mind choosing emotion over rationality).
Spending my time with or around Friends is one of them. I wish to see them together. But again in the world of individuals its almost a kind of dream. (Everyone like dreams)
Rationality: again it is subjective, depends and vary with age. Everything is not just black or white, there is/are grey shade(s) of almost all aspect. Many times even after knowing you choose other way which as per your mind is not rational rather emotional. But again, if you think the colours of rainbow is mere a light refrection natural phenomenon not a bridge of fairy and laugh on the ignorence of the kids who thinks the same then no wonder you dont understand the difference between rain drops and tap water.
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